David Calof has been one of my mentors for many years. He constantly asks clients to "Go inside" and find the answers to almost any question. I did three sessions today that included this powerful technique, all to grand avail:

1. "Go inside and find the answer to 'Am I lovable as I am?' The answer is no? Who believes that? She's 4 and all alone and no one is there. Does she think she's alone because she's unlovable? What does your grownup part need to tell her about her parents' capacities to be there for a kid? So it wasn't because of her lovability? Are you holding her? Does she feel lovable now? So what's the answer to 'Am I lovable as I am?'       Fantastic!"

2. "Go inside and find the part that doesn't believe it's okay to put yourself in the equation or take care of your needs, too. What do you need to say to that kid? Oh, he's telling you off! He wants you to start taking care of him first. How are you going to do that?"

3. "Go inside and get in touch with the writer. What's stopping her from giving you that 'dictation' that lets you write? Too many things on your plate. What needs to fall off the plate before you start writing again? Will you do that? By when? How's your writer now? Revving up? Cool!"