Connie Sidles is a famous Seattle birder. Here is this week's KUOW radio interview with her about why she spends so many hours at the Montlake Fill. Connie gives a cogent discussion of dealing with grief, how to create/have meaning in life, how to get present, and why birding creates bliss in its more conscious adherents. Hear her here: http://kuow.org/program.php?id=17451
And if you want to see my husband's book of photographs of the Montlake Fill, go here: http://issuu.com/dougplummer/docs/at_the_fill . You don't have to buy the book to see the pictures. Click on the book then on the pages below. You can listen to Connie on one Explorer and look at the book on the other. Connie wrote the intro to the book.
You have much of truth in your message. I take one or two minor issues with your message (as heard on the KUOW interview).
Attitude is everything is not an especially accurate or helpful message (but I hear it a lot). Many people think show is more important than substance, so they can take the wrong message from this statement.
I don’t think you really mean this. It seems to me that you mean that attitude is a critical component. You state later that effort is all that is needed. That is not exactly true either, effort, competence, and attitude is closer to the truth. If you could not focus on your task or comprehend what you read, effort would not be enough.
With respect to God, you can sidestep your personal beliefs by asking your client about their belief and the conflict they are experiencing. Your client prayed, but didn’t get results. You might have asked if the God he believes in should give anything asked. You might also ask if it would be best if that God gave results without effort.
I would never challenge a persons belief structure unless it was a real problem (e.g., handling rattler snakes). Generally, these beliefs are important and if removed leave a hole you might have trouble filling. It was right of you to avoid speaking about your personal beliefs because that would have been an egregious digression from your function.
Dear Thomas,
It wasn’t me, a therapist, in the interview. It was Connie Sidles, a birder and grieving mom, with another kid in Iraq. I wouldn’t put so much of my personal beliefs out there, because it might get in the way of clients’ comfort with their own meaning. I posted it as an example of one person making meaning out of their personal life.
I agree with you that attitude isn’t everything. There’s brain chemistry, strong implicit learning, genetics/temperament, and experience that shape us.
And about God, I have each client connect with the concept of God that they have. I would never presume to correct or intrude on their belief. I do enjoy, however, seeing people make new, more positive relationships with the God they have as their trauma lifts and their gratitude increases.
Thanks for your thoughtful comments.
What a great mornin’…
Hello!!! how you doing!? hope you’re fine!! This blog is just amazing, i believe you’re talking right about everything in your blog!!!
Guess you’re very clever to see the things in that way, you make my day…..
Have a nice day!!!
Áron Berki
4943 Hidden Pond Road
Nashville, TN 37212
And about God, I have each client connect with the concept of God that they have. I would never presume to correct or intrude on their belief. I do enjoy, however, seeing people make new, more positive relationships with the God they have as their trauma lifts and their gratitude increases.
Scary how, exactly? In situations like these, it can be useful to remember that not every woman wearing boots wants to spank you or fuck you.
By always having to ask some male relative to drive you, you are not free to be alone or to go anywhere you’d like to.
I really try to see why you prefer dependence instead of independence, and I can’t see the point.